@LeonEarlgrey: Don't bite the hand that feeds you, But don't bite any other hands either because that is how diseases are spread.
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@RidiculousSheri: I was in a gang once. We wore blue, traveled in packs, and ruled our turf with shiny instruments...wait. Band. I was in the marching band.
@Jamie1947: Give a dog a bone and he'll be like, "Oh wow, I love these, thanks" Teach a dog to bone and he'll be like, "dude, I got this"
@TheToddWilliams: Boss: It's been a tough year Jim J: Am I laid off? B: No J: Fired? B: No J: What then? B: You're to be executed at noon. J: This is bullshit
@slimmy_shady: My tongue was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records until the damn librarian kicked me out.