@BatBatshitcrazy: Don't bite the hand that feeds you, unless of course, they're feeding you kale.
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@AndrewNadeau0: 6 YEAR OLD RENOVATOR: So over here we'll tear up the carpet, and obviously add a lot of furniture, as the floor will be lava.
@robdelaney: My niece just said "Birds live in a birdhouse & we live in a people house!" Cute, huh? Wrong; my niece is 26 & on trial for manslaughter.
@Cpin42: [sees that my girlfriend from 3rd grade is getting married] Wow- you didn't waste any time, did you Becky