@BatBatshitcrazy: Don't bite the hand that feeds you, unless of course, they're feeding you kale.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GinGander: I watched her squeeze into the booth, finish 3 Egg McMuffins, & stand-up. "My knees are killing me, it must be the cold weather," she said.
@iSmashFizzle: Me: It's not illegal to be rude to cops. Them: Well, if you poke a bear, what do you expect? Me: That's why we don't make bears cops.
@hippieswordfish: before guns were invented, armies had to throw bullets at each other and if a bullet touched you, you had to sit out until the next war
@Laddy42: I asked my wife if we could get a hot young nanny. Of course she got mad and said "No!". For one thing, we don't have any kids...