@BatBatshitcrazy: Don't bite the hand that feeds you, unless of course, they're feeding you kale.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AmishPornStar1: I long for the days when waking up with a "stiff one" wasn't referring to my lower back.
@SouthernStylin1: 14 sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added "not in your pajamas" so I'm wearing hers because good moms listen
@zachreinert03: People think having 5 sets of grandparents rules as kid on Xmas, and it does, but you pay for it on the back end having to go to 97 funerals
@ibid78: GOD: let's make an armored raccoon that turns into a bowling ball ANGEL: but why wou- GOD: and we'll call it an armadillo for some reason