@scottthetwat: Don't blame me for acting like a baby, I was born that way.
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@ThisOneSayz: Me: want a grilled cheese? 6yo: no. How about a cheeseburger without the meat. Me: you got it.
@SteveSuckington: [talking to family after emergency surgery] Your positive energy saved my life Surgeon: *waves hand* umm hello
@ericsshadow: My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.