@TomTheWicked: Don't blame me. You're the one following a 32 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters.
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@thetits: WIFE: Honey? why is there a deer in the living room wearing your clothes? HONEY? [Cut to me running naked through the moonlit forest]
@Peauxtassium: I’ve always taught my children that no matter what race or religion, all good looking people deserve respect.
@bigTman001: Cop: You know why I pulled you over sir? Me: Because you suck at finding rapists, murders, molesters, thieves, and arsonists?