@CoreyKeyz: Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Journalists love covering Lindsay Lohan because what she is to actresses, they are to professions.
@AustinSommer: If you spin an oriental person around until they get dizzy, do they become disoriented? #LifeQuestions
@Tommytoughstuff: That awkward moment when you run into your old pizza guy and you're with your new much younger pizza guy.
@daemonic3: Joined our neighborhood watch program. There's 30 of us though so I only get to wear it like 1 day a month. :(