@weinerdog4life: Don't buy a belt at the zoo, it's just a snake trying to escape.
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@lipstck_junkie: My 6 y/o told me the medicine cabinet was our most important cabinet. Outwardly I agreed but inwardly: "no son, the liquor cabinet is".
@notalogin: *Giant boulder slowly crushes several hundred cats* Guy who's about to invent the bagpipes: Hey, this gives me an idea!
@AudreyPorne: me: well I grew up without a dad and I turned out okay cw: don't u collect human teeth?? me: yeah but they're not my teeth