@weinerdog4life: Don't buy a belt at the zoo, it's just a snake trying to escape.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AlexRogaski: [God making African animals] Screw it. Just put stripes on a horse, make that water lizard really big, and put spots on a really tall deer.
@DanMentos: [first date] *pointing indiscriminately* "uh-oh looks like we're on the Kiss Cam" there's no- *leans in* there's no Kiss Cam at Applebees
@KalvinMacleod: 911 what's the emergency "Please help, I made too much spaghetti" Relax sir, we've all been th—*spaghetti starts coming out of the phone*
@Marlebean: I just plugged the charger into my phone, in the correct hole, on the first try. So it IS possible, guys. IT. IS. POSSIBLE.