@CovertAgentP: Don't buy drinks from children on the side of the road. The money never really goes to aid for lemons.
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@Home_Halfway: *chasing after the person that just robbed my house* TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME SO I KNOW YOU GOT BACK SAFELY
@215potter: To my future kids: I apologize for the lack of college funds... Blame mom, she INSISTED on organic produce from Whole Foods.
@B1gBrainsMcGee: If you watch COPS backwards it's just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
@PhuckinCody: Even after seeing all of the Jurassic Park movies I still feel like a dinosaur theme park sounds like a really good idea