@CovertAgentP: Don't buy drinks from children on the side of the road. The money never really goes to aid for lemons.
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@KimJungilSpirit: 4yo doctor visit: Doc: no more than 30 mins for 4yo on the iPad. I'd rather he play with mud. Me: .. Wife:.. Me: where do u download mud?
@SprtsHumor: Experts determine Super Bowl blackout was an electrical issue, also determine grass has a green issue.
@Sickayduh: Good cop: You have the right to remain silent Girlfriend cop: What's wrong? Why are you being so quiet? Are you mad? I hate when you're lik
@biscuitahoy: When you look at Twitter's trending topics, it's a lot easier to understand why they have to write "Do Not Eat" on silica gel packets.