@JasonLastname: Don't cry because it's over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
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@roostermustache: Biden: can i put whoopee cushions under all the chairs before he gets here Obama: joe im on the phone Biden:*muttering* u didnt say not to
@Petote: Just because I am an Italian American doesn't mean my family is in the mob.... It means we used to be.
@notacroc: GROCER: slide your card ME: it didn't work GROCER: does it have a chip? ME: *puts hand over pringle in my pocket I was saving for later* no