@shegotagronk: Don't cry because it's over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies.
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@Quartzjixler: I had professional respect for you but then you said "recognizance" when you meant 'reconnaissance.'
@outsmartedmommy: I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books.
@TheBoydP: Interviewer: Any questions? Me: If Bruno Mars had a sex change operation would he change his name to Bruno Venus?