@WarrenHolstein: Don't cut yourselves 'cause Justin smokes pot, Beliebers. Cut yourselves 'cause you listen to Justin Bieber. (And aim for a major artery.)
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@vapidaccount: Dear ladies who wear black tights and red shoes: Please stop. Minnie Mouse is not a style icon for grown women. Love, M
@MariyaAlexander: Make a horror film less scary by putting old timey words in the title, i.e. The Thingamabob, Jason Goes To Heck or The Hills Have Peepers.
@GibJimson: If you ever see me cleaning out my car in the middle of winter, it's because I have drugs missing.