@GinRumMe: (Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.)
Text: Hey what are you up to?
@LeaMehanna: I think my microwave's broken. I keep pressing the pizza button and no pizza is coming out
@JMFnSparks: Dear men,
I can make your girl scream louder than you can ever make her!
@JermHimselfish: The only meal my girlfriend ever makes for me is alphabet soup because even when we aren't fighting she still loves to put words in my mouth
@MacAnnabella: "That wasn't chicken in the Chow Mein"
I'd make a great Fortune Cookie writer.
@Tmoney68: Her: What's your fantasy?
Me: Sexy nurse!
H: Meet me in the bedroom.
[10 minutes later]
*we both come in wearing nurse costumes*