@GinRumMe: (Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.)
Text: Hey what are you up to?
@i_theindian: Lovers decided to commit suicide. The boy jumped first. The girl did not. From that day, started the concept of...Ladies First. @Laugh_Riot
@Tommytoughstuff: [watching Titanic]
*leans over to my wife* That iceberg might be problematic.
@theshantilly: Non-tweeting friend: "So it's like FB?"
Me: "Except everyone's mean & sarcastic & brutally honest."
"Awesome. I know."
@weinerdog4life: Jake from State Farm lives with us now, our house is full of khaki pants, he is making khaki pants for dinner.
@bingowings14: Either I just saw a bat in the garden or the mice are using hand-gliders to avoid our cat.