@jimmytorosian: Don't drop the soap in prison because someone might steal your soap and then you will be "the dirty guy" and no one will have sex with you
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@Reverend_Scott: *Clark Kent takes his glasses off* Jimmy: "OMG, it's Superman!" *Clark puts his glasses back on* "OMG, Clark! You just missed Superman!"
@neiltyson: Anyone who thinks scientists like agreeing with one another has never attended a scientific conference.
@TommmyBear: [invention of fish net stockings] fisherman 1: Help! I got caught in the fish net! fisherman 2: is it just me or is dave looking a little ... hot? fisherman 3: no dave is definitely being hot rn