@egg_dog: don't eat yellow snow is a pretty sound rule but i would warn against eating any kind of weather
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@gianni_bcn: To show off my "Downton Abbey etiquette" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it.
@JohnLyonTweets: Her: I like a man with an air of mystery. Me: [trying to impress her] I'm under investigation for murder.
@954LeenO: I dont pretend to be anything I'm not.. Except for sober I've pretended to be sober a few times
@yungsweater: Can I get an amen? AMEN! Can I get a b-men? BMEN! Can I get a c-men? CME--*the whole church laughs*