@timdonakowski: Don't eat yellow snow. Red snow, on the other hand, is debatable. Could be horrible, could be cherry.
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@david8hughes: [family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock
@Roweboat13G: I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
@Heldinchains: My kid just said his dinner tasted like cat litter. Not sure if I should be offended or wonder how he knows what cat litter tastes like.