@timdonakowski: Don't eat yellow snow. Red snow, on the other hand, is debatable. Could be horrible, could be cherry.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LostFelicia: I took my dad to the gym with me today. The man clocks a mile on the treadmill before I could hit the Start button. I'm not taking him with me again.
@drunktweets81: I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
@T_N_Crumpets: *Bruno Mars on the radio* Wife: Would you catch a grenade for me? Brain: Just say, YES! Me: Has the pin been pulled? Brain: Idiot!
@KeetPotato: wife: "remember when i said you were too friendly all the time?" me: [making cup of tea] "no im not" burglar: "two sugars please"