@lizetagge: Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google - Grandfather Clock
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@ojedge: "Spirits, are you there?" [ouija board] ＩＦ ＹＯＵ ＬＩＫＥ ＩＴ ＴＨＥＮ ＹＯＵ ＳＨＯＵＬＤＡ ＰＵＴ Ａ ＲＩＮＧ ＯＮ ＩＴ "Damn it, we've held a séaoncé again!"
@xLiserx: *Opens a window and the wind blows 84 hamburger wrappers from my desk.* "Oh no! My research!!"
@foodandwhining: People with eyebrow, nose, and lip piercings always look like they landed face-first into a tackle box.
@WilliamAder: If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping Christmas presents.