@TheWadest: Don't EVER let anyone tell you you're not worth anything. You can get at least ten grand for one of your kidneys.
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@CodyJP9412: I think one of the toughest parts about growing up is realizing that you don't sweat blue if you drink blue Gatorade.
@WrongPandas: [at funeral] Me: "I'm sorry your husband died in that boating accident in Venice" Widow: "please no.... Me: "you have my gondolances"
@SnizzleFrizzle: I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. *I'm not even high.