@CantWaitToNap: Don't expect a "bless you" after you sprayed me down with your sneeze.
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@TheCatWhisprer: ME: bartender. another. BARTENDER: but you just- ME: *slams fist on bar* ANOTHER [bartender reluctantly hands me another moist towelette]
@GinGander: I watched her squeeze into the booth, finish 3 Egg McMuffins, & stand-up. "My knees are killing me, it must be the cold weather," she said.
@david8hughes: Me: can we stop by my house so I can grab my pillow & my phone charger? It's like 10 minutes from here Arresting officer: no