@bmarked21: Don't expect me to tweet between 8 & 9 pm because that's when I dress like Madonna for an hour and dance provocatively in front of my pets.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Social_Mime: If someone bumps into you while you are wearing camouflage you have no one to blame but yourself.
@Anon_imosity: [walks into bookstore] Me: do you have any books on turtles? Worker: Hard back? Me: Yeah, with little heads.