@bmarked21: Don't expect me to tweet between 8 & 9 pm because that's when I dress like Madonna for an hour and dance provocatively in front of my pets.
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@Sean_Burgundy_: Waitress: Would you prefer your order with a side of fries or salad? Me: Would you prefer your tip with cash or advice?
@JPHaddadio: Don't spend money on body modification. If you wait long enough, your body modifies itself for free.
@mishakey: If you stop at a yellow light I'm going to assume you have something illegal in your car.