@ChrisCamarra: Don't flatter yourself, any type of milkshake brings me to the yard.
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@sarcasticmommy4: What I said: GET IN THE CAR! What my kids heard: Pour another bowl of cereal & watch TV.
@NinjaSweatpants: Watching cooking shows makes you realize how much forehead sweat is possibly in your food
@BobTheSuit: Job interview with the NSA Applicant: Would you like references? NSA: We have everything we need. App: You guys! NSA: I know, right!
@JasonBerlin: Seems like ladies hate being asked how their Thanksgiving was, no matter how playfully I pat their stomachs.