@_davidlucas_: Don't forget to contemplate the meaning of life while standing in the cycle lane with your car door wide open today.
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@SerialFuckup: Today's life lesson: "I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing them off is a piece of cake."
@KeetPotato: [sex-ed lesson] now, unroll the condom down over the bana- what is it keith? "i ate my banana"
@ceejoyner: Babies have little hands and odd sleep schedules which is why my gym for buff infants has miniature equipment and stays open 24hrs.