@TheMichaelRock: Don't forget to get offended today by some retarded shit that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
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@thenatewolf: *Creator of Charlie Brown sits down to draw a cartoon* What do eight-year-old boys look like again? Bald? It's bald, right?
@ThisOneSayz: Unlike regular Jiu Jitsu, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu will get you out of a hairy situation.
@garbagecoven: *voluntarily spends hours on the internet daily* neato *friend sends 5-min video to watch* do i look like im made of free time or something
@Reverend_Scott: [Applebees on Christmas] God: Enjoy your meal? Jesus: Ya, I- [a crowd of servers surrounds them] Jesus: You didn't... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Y