@Pirate_nurse: Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not
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@ValeeGrrl: My daughter spelled America "Merica" on a book report so now I'm searching her room for Trump campaign propaganda.
@SaraMansford: So I called up the Captain, please bring me my wine. He said: "ma'am, this is a cruise. Please don't call me again if there's no emergency"
@chuuew: I'm not sure if this snake is trying to ask me a question or if he's just eaten a candy cane.
@Sickayduh: ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one. HER: I don't think you get what a tornado watch is.