@Pirate_nurse: Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not
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@josh___grant: I wear my tattoos on the inside. Ever since having discount back surgery from a guy named "Spider."
@Book_Krazy: If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you.
@FriendlyAssh0le: if you're having a bad day, remember, there are people out there who have their ex's name tattooed on themselves.
@KeetPotato: [interview with girl at dating agency] i get shy around pretty girls [girl smiles brushing hair from her face] "are you shy now" not really