@OhNoSheTwitnt: Don't forget to take a screen shot of the weather forecast today and post it on Instagram.
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@CaniacMONK: *Works out on rowing machine *Breaks rowing machine *Doesn't know own strength *Buys Doritos to celebrate *Can't open bag
@PinkCamoTO: It's like grandma always said... Make sure you put everything in the medicine cabinet back where you found it or you won't be invited back.
@BriarSlyMalice: SHE has the mouth of a sailor... ...that recently retired & started a new career as a trucker.
@liz_buckley: People laughed when I said I wanted to be a professional snooker player. They're not laughing now because it was ages ago.