@OhNoSheTwitnt: Don't forget to take a screen shot of the weather forecast today and post it on Instagram.
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@tastefactory: 2005: We want cell phones to be so tiny 2015: We want cell phones the size of the big rib from the Flintstones intro that tips the car over
@JeffSarcastic: [dinner negotiations] Wife: where do you want to go to eat? Me: ugh Wife: Me: you pick Wife: I'm craving kale Me: I'll pick
@animaldrumss: Arnold Palmer: get me a refreshing drink Barkeep: try this, its lemonade and iced tea Arnold Palmer: Mmm... its good... I just invented it.