@ohthatbadger: Don't forget to wear your best clothes to church because Jesus was all about one-upping your neighbour with fancier duds.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife said that I set up the baby monitor wrong. Apparently it's not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby's ankle.
@VeryLonelyLuke: Only 2 kids made it out of my Jedi class. One killed the padawans. The other was abandoned in the desert I'm dreading that class reunion.