@Jenny4ashley: Don't forget when you're tanning nude in your backyard that someone is zooming in on you from google earth satellite. You're welcome.
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@AndyAsAdjective: captain: a lot of rumors floating around saying I sunk the ship sailor: [clinging to a piece of the hull] please stop calling us rumors sir
@DaddyJew: *slowly raises hand 20 minutes into an important office meeting* so there are no donuts?
@vikkaroni: Job interview HR: What's your best asset? Me: I have an excellent memory. HR: Give me an example. Me: Of what?