@fillthevacuum: Don't get it. Heard the phrase "keep your friends clothes & keep your enemies clothes, sir". Now I have a bunch of naked people angry at me.
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@3sunzzz: A millennial told me that he and his friends weren't on Twitter anymore because it was for old people now. I was like, "Finally, we won!"
@KattsDogma: "Eat me," said the noun "Say what?" said the verb. "Eat me," repeated the noun, word for word. "Uhh...okay." Verbatim.
@Ideal_Victoria: *puts up baby gates all around the outside of my house* There. That should keep 'em out.