@dlockw21: Don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day. I repeat, don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day.
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@DeepDarkFear: "Hate it when I think of her and suddenly we're teleported to a picturesque location, and have to dance to a random love song." - Indians
@pauleggleston: -Someone keeps phoning up pretending to be my grandmother. It's a prank, I don't know what else to call it. -Shenanigan? -Don't you start.
@KenJennings: Yes, in fact I DO know what it's like to bleed like crazy once a month. That's my flossing schedule.
@FierceMess: Wanna live a long life? Get married. I guarantee you'll change your mind real quick.