@dlockw21: Don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day. I repeat, don't give her a Fitbit for Mother's Day.
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@robo_junkie: I want to get arrested by a motorcycle cop just so I can hold him tenderly around the waist on my way to jail.
@weedguy420boner: one time I saw a guy playing with a yoyo walk into a street sign. I laughed so hard that it changed me. It changed everything.
@MikeCanRant: 1) Find and catch a rabbit 2) Go to restaurant 3) Complain about a hare in your meal 4) Enjoy free meal plus adorable household pet