@trevso_electric: Don't give your heart to someone unless you're 100% certain that you're dead.
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@BlairLoudly: One time I threw my cat at a spider so I could escape, but sure I'd love to hold your baby
@TheRolo: Date: So what do you do for fun? Me: [Flashes back to me tightly strapping a Rolex around a quail] I love bird watching.
@Dre_77_: Every time I hear a mean joke about being Canadian, I go right to the hospital and get my feelings checked for free.