@trevso_electric: Don't give your heart to someone unless you're 100% certain that you're dead.
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@KeetPotato: wife: "what on earth are you doing?" me: "making a penguin" wife: "that's a pigeon" me: [opening freezer door] "not for long"
@jbringsmayhem: 9: do they drink beer in heaven? Me: I kinda doubt it... 9: does somebody check for it at the gate? Me: ...
@salamingia: My wife said I'm picky. I said obviously not picky enough. Anyone need a roommate tonight?