@KKBowls: Don't hand out condoms to high school students. Take away their deodorant and toothbrush. That'll cut down teen pregnancy
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@partlyfunny: If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
@Token_Geezer: A vegan, an atheist and a reformed ex-smoker walk into a bar. Everyone else in the bar leaves.
@palokin: Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it