@andylassner: Don't hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
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@Jacob_Swift16: When I was a child someone shot me with a flare gun and I've been absolutely fabulous ever since
@ObscureGent: I walk my dog at night with a knife in my pocket just in case the person robbing me doesn’t have his own weapon to stab me with.
@XAIMMadellynne: Was looking at smoking pipes on Amazon & realized that CW could look at my history.So,I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
@TheTalkingPipe: I didn't know how to put this gently so I drew you a picture. That's you. Now, see the guy choking you? That's me.