@Neauxpe: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because you were the only car in the lot and I parked so close you couldn't open your door.
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@Dank_Pal: "And for our next lesson, we'll learn how to roll a blunt, or un cigarrillo marijuana" - Rosetta Stoned
@librarianfonz: I literally use figuratively in literally every occasion where I am literally speaking figuratively.
@TheToddWilliams: ME: Honey, I bought a Pet Rock WIFE: A WHAT? ME: Shhh, you'll make him nervous DWAYNE JOHNSON: *already peeing all over the carpet*
@Kyle_Lippert: Avril: I want a divorce. You aren't a sk8er boi. So see ya later boi. Chad: This is how you remind me of what I really am?!