@EvanJKessler: Don't hate the game, hate the player who keeps sending you Facebook invites to play the game.
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@Brianhopecomedy: I told my Mom that I was going to the Apple store and she said, "You sound like you're 4 - it's the grocery store".
@DanMentos: dispatch: we have a home invasion robbery in progress on the far side of the lake rowboat cop: *grabs oar* I'll be there in 6 hours
@TheTweetOfGod: When the sun explodes you will have eight minutes before the world ends. In a related story, you might want to order dessert now.