@SamGrittner: Don't hate the PLAYA... hate the Spanish word for beach.
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@rockymomax: SURGEON (who is an octopus): scalpel NURSE: [sweating trying to figure out what arm to hand it to] yup one second
@LindaInDisguise: The difference between your husband and your Netflix account is, over time, your Netflix account learns what you like.
@Beerhaze: If I give up my seat for you on the bus, it's my right to stand in front of you and stare down your blouse. I think it's in the Bible.
@FrogAvalanche:  One smoker left in the world. The Quit Smoking ads get personal. HEY KEVIN, STOP SMOKING. YOU STINK. YOUR WIFE SAYS YOU NEED VIAGRA.