@Steelers1972: Don't have your phone number posted on FB if you don't want me calling you at 3am drunk asking for the recipe of that cobbler you posted.
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@jakob_huber: *meets girl for coffee* *sets down blueprints for bank* "What's this?" Your dating profile said you were looking for a partner in crime
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Tell me about your weekend. Bob: Why? You never ask. Me: I find your voice acts like a laxative. Bob: That's disgus- Me: It worked! Bye.
@seamussaid: I'm no political expert, but as far as I can tell the Republican strategy seems to be: "oh you think BUSH was terrible?"