@Steelers1972: Don't have your phone number posted on FB if you don't want me calling you at 3am drunk asking for the recipe of that cobbler you posted.
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@daemonic3: [walks date home] HER: Wanna come up for a nightcap? ME: I gotta work early HER: I have 2 dogs ME:[already running up stairs like Rocky]
@aksorojas: fiancé: *marvels at the beauty of the Eiffel Tower* me: will you do me the greatest honor of *looks at smudged writing on hand* murdering me
@mrsmith196645: I spent the day in nature and by nature I mean drinking beer on a golf course. I saw a butterfly.