@Tups13: Don't hesitate when you come to a fork in the road. Be bold. Pick that fork up and take it home. Free cutlery!
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@i_wasnt_looking: I can't stand fake people. Unless you're with me and we are faking that we are sober for a cop. Then you need to be Oscar winning fake.
@xofreckles: You mean 'idiosyncrasies' doesn't mean two or more idiots doing the same thing at the same time?
@GimpySunshine: ran out of deodorant this morning, so I spritzed on some windex. Now birds keep crashing into my armpits :(
@KentWGraham: My wife and I have different beliefs about death. I want to be cremated when I die, and she wants to cremate me now.