@twylaredsun: Don't insult me by looking into my eyes. This bra cost me $65.
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@LindaInDisguise: I hope my husband never gets Alzheimer's but if he does, I imagine my favorite part will be saying "I gave you one yesterday."
@stephenjmolloy: "The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk-" *Greg burps* "-actually, you know what, Greg? It's manners. The first rule is manners."
@5hael: My ceiling fan has three setting: - very slow - slow - I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident