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@AimeeHelene1: DON'T INTERRUPT ME!!!
(me, in a drunken argument with your dog)
@Chelsea_Elle: The best part of being a girl is not having to open doors. If I approach a door and a guy isn't there I just take a nap til one shows up.
@Brianhopecomedy: I have keys on my keychain from the houses I used to live in just in case I'm hungry and in the area.
@_Shizzle: They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
@thenamesmikeG: The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured.
@WorldStarFunny: Why these pigeons look like they bout to drop the most fire album of 2014