@Dawn_M_: Don't judge me because I like 80's music. Judge me because I had a late term abortion because a baby would ruin my holiday plans.
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@joejwest: PILOT: Welcome to flying school. Any questions? ME: Is it possible to crash into a rainbow? PILOT: Yes it's how most of you will die. Next?
@Writepop: "And now it's time for Guess How Many Belly Rubs I Want! Remember, contestants, guess wrong and you get the claws!" - Cat game shows
@AndyAsAdjective: coworker: those are some crazy socks me: well I guess th- socks: THE GOVERNMENT RECORDS ALL OF OUR PHONE CALLS & IS HIDING UFO EVIDENCE