@SCbchbum: "Don't kill it!" my friend pleaded for a spider's life inside. So I carefully trapped it in a cup, brought it outside, then stomped on it.
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@squirrel74wkgn: Half way through the movie, I brought some popcorn downstairs for the kids & realized I rented the wrong Black Stallion DVD.
@dorsalstream: SOCRATES: [dying] Plato, my dear pupil, I’ve always wanted to tell you something. PLATO: Yes, my teacher. SOCRATES: I often made sweet sweet love to your mom. Now please take good care of my documents. ... PLATO: [Socrates’s funeral] Too bad he left us no writing.
@ThatRascalPuff: Teacher: Any questions *raises hand* T: NO DUMB ONES "Can you see continent names from space" T: FOR FU-..ugh...Not if it's cloudy bud