@efasheefaa: Don't kill yourself over a boy, he'll bring another girl to your funeral.
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@nthonyswan: Airlines. Graciously giving you the choice to have feet, or a personal item, but not both.
@abhorrent_wife: Thanks to Target's full length 3 way mirrors, I'm now painfully aware I look like a melting candle from the back.
@ScorpionDong: Hangs a sign on front door that says "Robbery in progress - Please do not disturb" to deter burglars