@Scorpio1080: Don't let people push you around. Unless it's in a wagon, because that shit is fun!
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@withanewname: Her: *leaving seductively, slowly dragging fingertip across countertop* Mgr: What'd she want? Me: nothing. Mgr: Where're all the donuts?
@thenatewolf: Hello, I'm a bird, I survived since dinosaurs roamed the earth but windows are too much for me to figure out.
@envydatropic: My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh
@abbycohenwl: Guy: If u won lotto, what'd u get? Me: A cat sitter G: To take extra good care of Sox? M: *pictures a cat in a suit taking care of me* Yes