@Scorpio1080: Don't let people push you around. Unless it's in a wagon, because that shit is fun!
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@Shock_Monster: Nurse: Your name, please? Me: Dr. Feelgood. Nurse: ... Me: ... Nurse: You're not a Dr. are you? Me: No, I won't make you feel good, either.
@LostCatDog: Waiter: Hi! Our special today is macaroni or cheese! Me: Wait - did you say 'or' cheese? Waiter: *lifts shirt, reveals gun* Look, I'm a cop
@nyax6: Abraham: look here son, i got windows 98! Isaac: but dad, we don't have enough memory? Abraham:Have faith, God will provide the RAM.