@Scorpio1080: Don't let people push you around. Unless it's in a wagon, because that shit is fun!
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@TheToddWilliams: Scientists at the Federal Helium Reserve indicate they're storing a billion cubic meters of helium gas. It's a lot funnier when they say it.
@Darlainky: Yes I was hurt that your cat ignored me, even though I'm allergic. I'm the same way with party invitations.
@KenJennings: TALKING TO MY DAUGHTER 7yo: I have an empty snail shell collection. Me: How many do you have? 7yo: Zero. Me: ZERO? 7yo: I said it was empty.