@jwoodham: Don't let people tell you that life after college is nothing but being poor and tired. It's 100% true, but it's more fun if it's a surprise.
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@Jay_FrickinLynn: Asked my son what he wanted for dinner. He said cheese. A good mom doesn't let her kid eat cheese for dinner. This cheese is delicious.
@TJ_Whitehead: By my calculations, I've spent approximately $39 throughout my life to watch bananas turn brown on my kitchen table
@Dawn_M_: I won't undo a retweet in case someone finds it offensive. I just knit them onto pillows and give them as Christmas gifts.