@jwoodham: Don't let people tell you that life after college is nothing but being poor and tired. It's 100% true, but it's more fun if it's a surprise.
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@jwoodham: Instead of pulling people over for texting, the police should be out there pulling people over for not texting me back.
@noog: I wish the entire planet could come together as one and agree to refer to Kanye as Kanye Kardashian so we can bask in his shattered ego.