@WilliamRodgers: Don't let that "Metalica" t-shirt fool you. She knows every word to Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball"
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@KyleMcDowell86: Why do u wanna work at Burger King? *imagines killing the Burger King & taking my rightful place as king* "I haven't taken my meds in weeks"
@zachreinert03: If I see someone is too drunk I take their keys. Not for safety, they're probably blacked out and just won't remember I stole their car.
@stonedcoldlazy: Since Canada isn't making the penny anymore-did the price of a thought just go up to a nickel?