@jwoodham: Don't listen to people who tell you not to stay up late. They're just trying to trick you into being a well-rested person who isn't anxious.
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@lloydrang: Things i use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
@GrandadJFreeman: Another Twilight movie?God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them.
@AbbyHasIssues: Whenever someone says, “Good question” I never hear their answer because I’m too busy congratulating myself for asking such a good question.
@d_duhwit: *worm surgeon beside worm in hospital bed." Doc:" Surgery went good but the floor was slippery and long story short you have a son now."