@jwoodham: Don't listen to people who tell you not to stay up late. They're just trying to trick you into being a well-rested person who isn't anxious.
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@DebraMuffin: The best way to run into that hot person you've been dying to talk to is to leave the house looking the worst you possibly can.
@mrtruthandsoul: No thanks, ads to buy more followers; I get them the old-fashioned way: by telling them they're gonna die and I can save them.
@Steve_hamiltin: We gave you Nickelback and Justin Bieber. You responded with the Kardashians and Honey Boo Boo. Well played America, well played
@hammbone84: Turns out that my wife isn't very fond of me referring to her period tracker app as the Countdown to Armageddon.