@RandiLawson: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Yes I remain sweet & quiet but on the inside I'm composing a strongly worded email
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@lenadunham: To whoever has my old phone number: I truly hope you're enjoying those texts from that guy I met at that thing
@Bry_Mac: An interracial couple eating Cheerios and non-English speakers drinking Coke. We're a Benghazi pizza commercial away from a Texas secession.