@TedBundybitch: Don't mean to brag but I can turn a pair of fat pants into skinny jeans in like 3.5 months
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@fro_vo: Friend: what are u doing Me: training my pet rock Friend: that's dumb Pet Rock: *leaps from my hand & hits him in the face* Me: no rocky, no
@WhaJoTalkinBout: I'm not saying four kids is too many, I'm just saying it would be kind of cool if I could melt them all down to form one kid, that's all.
@JamesHavoc: Sometimes I think we are capable of great things as a species, but then I notice how many people can't put their shopping cart away.