@TedBundybitch: Don't mean to brag but I can turn a pair of fat pants into skinny jeans in like 3.5 months
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@markleggett: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. These are the five stages of learning that Ben Affleck is the new Batman.
@Phook75: Seriously considering robbing the ski mask store down the street but I'm having the hardest time deciding what to wear
@caithuls: One of my favorite things about sports is when they put the designated object in the designated area ahhhh what a rush