@Chelsea_Elle: Don't pay your taxes. Get sent to a cool ass prison. Boom, now taxes pay you. Life hack.
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@GrantTanaka: Wife's been away since thursday, we ran out of spaghetti-o's on friday, ate the dog yesterday, burned photo albums for heat today, pls help
@n0tblonde: If mental stability was measured by the type of tweets we laughed at, straight jackets would be the new black.