@yenniwhite: "Don't play with your food," I say to a toddler eating crackers shaped like farm animals.
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@Reverend_Scott: OK THERE. DID I PASS YOUR STUPID SOBRIETY TEST YET? Cop: Sir, you're still laying on the ground where you fell down.
@jwoodham: A horse-drawn carriage sounds really romantic until you realize horses can't even hold a pen and the carriage just looks like a scribble.