@P1ssed_K1d: Don't put all my eggs in one basket? Nice try, basket industry, I'm onto your marketing scam... #EasterBaskets
@CerebralWreck: Lawyer: why do you want a divorce? Wife: because he use idioms incorrectly. Me: it's not my cup of shoes, Linda!
@AnitaHelmet: There's a skinny girl inside me who is just DYING to get out. She stole the last cupcake & then bragged about her metabolism, so I ate her.
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