@P1ssed_K1d: Don't put all my eggs in one basket? Nice try, basket industry, I'm onto your marketing scam... #EasterBaskets
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@AngrEdmontonian: *puts hand on your knee *slowly moves up your thigh *runs over your hip *drags finger up your stomach *grabs remote *changes channel
@AJ_VanFossen: I swallowed a Ice Cube and I haven't pooped it out yet, I'm really scared you guys.
@ChiefTwittler: Probing: Aliens have had plenty of time to figure out our biology -now they're just having fun.
@AtticusFinch79: *taking training wheels off my old bike* Mom: You're not ready for this. Me: I'm 37, Mom. I've got this. *starts pedaling; hits a tree*