@wolfpupy: dont put all your eggs in one basket, put them in the little egg tray in the fridge thats what its for you idiot
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@Australianimal: Taken 4: Liam Neeson's daughter is kidnapped again. He calls up kidnappers and says "just keep her. She's annoying and I'm tired of this"
@jferg1616: Boss: "We are all going to have a bunch of Red Bull, bust out the chest of Adderall, be laser focused for about 4 hours, then die."
@MEQ_777: Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend